I think that if you want to know the quality of a man, you can look at the state of his woman. A real man is not one who merely looks after himself. A real man is one who looks after girl!
I am fortunate to have grown up in a family where I saw my father treat my mother like the queen she is. I am also so grateful that since my young adult years I have been part of a church that challenged me to treat my woman right! (I’m still there!). In fact I had friends who every time we met, they’d ask me how I’m treating my girlfriend. They’d also ask her how I’m treating her.
I know how much of a difference this made to me. And I am dedicated to healthy relationships. I am dedicated to helping young men treat their girlfriend/wife like a queen.
So here are some of the things I try to practice. Not that I have already attained this, but this is what I press for because I believe this is the higher calling and example that Jesus has set.
How to treat her like a Queen
- Be patient. I don’t mean that in any religious way at all. I mean, when she’s taking too long to get ready, or taking to long to make a point, or taking too long on the phone, be patient. Wait for her. Don’t always rush your queen. There is a way to make sure you’re not always late for things. When you’re patient you’ll find that way. But practice patience first.
- Always be kind in Word & deed. Never allow yourself to be unkind to her. If any one deserves your kindness it’s your girl! Speak kindly to her. Act kindly towards her. ALWAYS!!
- Understand she’s not one of the things you own. She has a mind. She has thoughts. Respect her thought. Respect her words. A good Woman is equipped with prophetic Words from God for you. Honour her as a prophet. That’s wise!
- Think well of her. You can’t think badly of her and then treat her well. Think of her as your queen, your number 1, and treating her like one will come naturally.
- Speak well of her in her presence and in her absence. Even if you have to complain about her, understand that there’s a right place and a right way to speak about her.
- Practice laying down your life. She needs to know that you are willing to give up important people and things for her! Practice giving up things for her without needing to announce it to her. Learn to be good to her because it’s right, not because you’re trying to score!
- Accept her as she is, not as you imagine she’d be. Most times when we meet someone we have a vision of what they’d be and how they’d look in the future. I don’t think there’s any thing wrong with that. But whilst you aspire for greater, you have to learn to accept her as she is today! If you’re not happy to accept all of her today, just leave her alone and move on. You both can only become what you see in the future when you truly & fully accept what you are today
- Introduce her to your friends! Introduce her to people that will hold you accountable. Make yourself accountable. If you feel the urge to hide her away. She’s not your girl. Leave her alone.
- Always be honest. Dishonesty is dishonourable. Dishonesty is selfish. Dishonesty is not fitting for a king or a queen. Dishonesty is not sexy. Be honest.
- If you’re not married to her DON’T SLEEP WITH HER. I know this is not a cool point to make in today’s world. But listen, this really complicates a simple matter. For the most part, I believe this is the most prominent reason why a break up during dating is often as devastating as a divorce. If you ever break up, make it your goal to leave her as whole as possible! Sleeping with her does not leave either of you whole
- She’s a Big girl, she can take care of herself. However never stop communicating your willingness to take care of her. She doesn’t need to be weak for you to take care of her. Strong people still need to be cared for. Care for her.
- Learn how to communicate to her. Every woman is different. She hears things a certain way. Find out how she hears and commit yourself to speaking her language.
Let’s treat our women like Queens gentlemen. It is right. It’s honourable. It’s our duty to her, to our families, to society and to God!!